Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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