yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Pants are for mortals
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
