would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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