oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
