"it" just moved
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
