my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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