so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
