Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize