Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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