dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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