so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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