is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
