We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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