Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
