that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Found the puke drawer
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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