I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
