me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
