How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You can't motorboat a personality
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
