He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Randomize