Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
