I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
