I like to think it a success when the cops are called
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize