He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
