YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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