Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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