new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
