Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
