and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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