today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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