So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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