We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
