He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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