47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
