It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize