We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
