i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
