I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
