in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
