U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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