I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
