it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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