I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just blew my weed a kiss
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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