Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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