Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Panties = found
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
