Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
