i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
