i was born a porn star she said
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize