I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
