Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize