Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
