You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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