oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
