I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Are we still banned from the library?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize