Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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