Banned from zoo.
Again?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
