I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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