If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
