what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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