Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
