apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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