lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
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