No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
