I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
