Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
