if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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