By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
His hands were made for my vagina.
did i walk over a car last night?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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