i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
