Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
