No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize