You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the day after is always just damage control
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
