i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
