So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
